April 12, 2013, Pyongyang, North Korea:North Korea's leader, Kim Jong-un, released a statement today in advance of anticipated missile launches which countries in the region and the United States on high alert. His statement reads:
"OFFICIAL STATEMENT - FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: We believe the areas along the coastlines of Japan, Guam, Hawaii and our dear friends to the south are in desperate need of artificial reefs. It is for this reason that we have decided to commence our 'Reef Building Initiative.' Our medium-range missiles make perfect artificial reefs. We ask ask the leaders of these nations to to remain calm if they happen to notice a large missile racing toward their shores in the coming days. It is nothing to be concerned about. In fact, you should consider yourselves very fortunate that your country has been selected for our special marine beautification project. Several of our 'reef-building' missiles may be contain nuclear warheads, so please don't be concerned if you see a large explosion, hear a deafening boom or experience a huge tidal wave. Sometimes we need to clear an area for a new reef. It may take a few thousand years for marine life to thrive there, but it is almost certain that generations in the future will be amazed by the strange new life forms which will emerge. See, we really are the world's most innovative environmentalists. In advance of the many thanks we will be receiving from nations in the Pacific, we say "You're Welcome.' Also, please stay out of the water for the next few days."
